I Was A 27-Year-Old Teenager On A Mission! (Pt. 1: Living Room)

Thursday, July 14, 2005

11:11 AM

I feel an adventure coming on. I just got off the phone with a nice, if slightly deaf, foreign-accented lady from the Harold Washington Library. I called to preregister for tomorrow's discussion of the book I Can't Tell You by Hillary Frank. I just bought it yesterday because it was small and inexpensive and fun-looking -- hopefully quirky Gen Y fiction like The Perks of Being a Wallflower. And after enjoying the book in a single sitting, I was inspired enough to find its author online. Turns out there's a discussion group convening tomorrow! In my favorite library! About this very book!

There's just one itsy-bitsy snag. According to the Library Lady with whom I spoke, the discussion is for kids 14-19. What choice did I have?

Library Lady: "Age?"
Me: "Nineteen."

This is true, as long as she means mental age. If by chance she means actual age, well it's 27 (28 in a few weeks). Still, with pigtails, no makeup, and lots of moisturizer, I can certainly pass for 19. It's the freckles. I'll definitely have to take off my wedding and engagement rings, though!

The best part about my chat with the Library Lady was that before I lied about my age bracket, we had this awesome, "Who's On First?"-style exchange, made worse by my terrible cell phone reception.

Library Lady: "What event are you calling about?"
Me: "The book discussion for I Can't Tell You."
LL: "OK, so it's a book discussion? You're not sure which one?"
Me: "It's I Can't Tell You."
LL: "What kind of book is it? Do you know the author's name?"
Me, yelling into my cell phone: "IT'S I CAN'T TELL YOU!"

Of course, that's when it dawned on me that our problem was not about language or accents or technology. It was about the book title. Hillary Frank might as well have named her book I Don't Know the Name of the Book.

2:42 PM

So, I just wrote the author, Hillary Frank, an e-mail. I doubt I'll hear back from her in time for tomorrow, but who knows. I wrote her in a way that may lead her to assume I'm a teenager. Honestly, the way I write isn't always that far off from the angsty and/or flighty missives of a high school freshman. I just cranked it up a notch. In hindsight, I don't think many kids say "that is just beyond me" but whatever. Here's an excerpt:

Ms. Frank,
I am so excited! First, I happened across your book, I Can't Tell You, at the book store yesterday and couldn't put it down. I looked at your author info on the flap and was so excited to find out you're from Chicago. I surfed your web site and found -- AMAZING! -- there's a discussion of the very book at my library tomorrow. That is just beyond me! Anyway, I was wondering if you would be there tomorrow. I really hope so! If not, could I treat you to coffee sometime? I'm working on a book myself and would love to hear about your writing life.
Thanks for a great read,
Erin

1:41 PM

I heard back from Hillary Frank already! She must be either an e-mail obsessive who checks for messages practically on the minute or the lonely writer stuck home alone. I am both, so I can identify. She seems really friendly, but maybe it's because she likes kids and thinks I'm one. Too bad she won't be there tomorrow, although as an adult, she might have been able to sniff me out. Here's some of her reply:

Erin,
Thanks so much for your kind words about I Can't Tell You. Writing books is a tough job and it's letters like yours that make it all feel worthwhile. I'm not going to be at the discussion tomorrow, but I hope you still go. Sounds like you'd have a lot to add to the conversation. . . . Good luck with your own writing!
Best,
Hillary

Good luck with my writing, indeed! If I don't keep getting sidetracked by reading other people's books or planning elaborate library hijinks, maybe someday I'll get my teaching book done. Whatever. Tomorrow is going to be one for the books (no pun intended).

(In tomorrow's installment of "I Was A 27-Year-Old Teenager On A Mission!", yours truly strikes out for history's most espionage-filled trip to the public library. Stay tuned . . .)