Three big bits o' news:
1. I am honored and thrilled to have been picked as a reader for this month's Reading Under the Influence event, this Wednesday night at Sheffield's. I'll be performing an excerpt of THESE HALLS USED TO BE TALLER!, my forthcoming teaching memoir. If you live in Chicago, you should come! The event was a critic's pick in this week's Chicago Reader -- wow!
2. I am laying out and printing the Silver Lining zine this week. Holler if you'd like to help -- it'll be fun! And stay tuned for launch party and where-to-buy news. In addition, the Silver Lining writers group meets this Tuesday at 6:30 p.m. at Pontiac Cafe. Let me know if you're coming so I can reserve you a seat.
3. If you know anyone out near Dekalb (west of Chicago) or at Northern Illinois University, please spread the word that my band, the Hidden Mitten is playing at Otto's Underground this Friday w/ Little Red and the Hoods and a bunch of other great bands. Can't wait!
More tidbits from Colorado next week! - Erin :)
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Thursday, April 19, 2007
THESE HALLS USED TO BE TALLER! excerpt
[Here's a little snippet of the chapter I'm writing today. Hope you're all having a good week so far! -- Erin]
In the two seconds it took me to turn to the other teachers and ask, "Where is the restroom out here?" Veronica's pants were wet. So were her eyes, quickly filling with tears.
And then, up walked Alexia, with wet jeans, too. A simultaneous pants-wetting. Two human beings synchronizing, almost to the instant, the peeing of their pants and underwear (and, thanks to gravity, socks and shoes). It was a scientific feat, worthy of first place at the school science fair at least. It was also the last straw.
I closed my eyes for a split second. Maybe this was just a dream. It was still the night before and I was in my bed having a nightmare about how bad the first day of teaching would be -- a worst-case scenario dream. Or maybe I wasn't even a grown-up yet. I was just a little kid dreaming about how awful it would be if I grew up to be a teacher at my old elementary school. When I woke up, I would crawl into my parents' bed. "I had a scary dream," I would say, and they would wrap me up in a blanket like a papoose and cradle me until I feel asleep again, this time to dream of ponies and playing bass with Barbie and the Rockers.
I opened my eyes. Unfortunately, I was still all grown up, still on the playground, and my mommy and daddy were nowhere in sight. I was in charge here, like it or not (NOT!), and I had a major mess to clean up -- now -- before a third or fourth or fifth kid peed her pants.
Frantic, I asked the other teachers to watch the rest of my class while I whisked these girls off to the office. "The nurse will get you a change of clothes," I tried to reassure them.
Wrong again! The nurse did have several boxes of old, scrambled clothes -- like the Brady Bunch's dryer had exploded under the cot in her office. But she was not about to participate in our sitcom catastrophe. Wet pants were beneath her. Can't say I blame her.
As I tossed around overalls and shirts and dresses in search of not one but two pairs of pants that would fit a first grade girl, I found that either the school's upper grades had a serious incontinence problem or these clothes were donated by someone who wasn't thinking much about the age, and corresponding size, of a typical pants-wetter. Most of the clothes were HUGE, and the few items that weren't were so tiny the wearer surely would've been young enough to sport a diaper anyway.
Finally I found some pant candidates. I felt as though I had just run a marathon through a thrift store (which, come to think of it, would definitely be my preferred kind of marathon). Proudly holding up the pants, I braced myself for the grateful hugs of pee-soaked girls.
"Those pants are UGLY!" Veronica exclaimed in disgust.
I looked at her, entire bottom half soaked and splotchy, with the most genuine confusion. I would no more have anticipated her response -- a fashion critique of the pants?! WHAT ?! -- than if she had ripped off her face, revealing her true alien features, and demanded to be taken to my leader.
"YOU ARE MARINATING IN YOUR OWN URINE!" I wanted to shriek at her.
But I couldn't. It was beneath me. So I held my nose and dove back into the box of moth-eaten clothes.
In the two seconds it took me to turn to the other teachers and ask, "Where is the restroom out here?" Veronica's pants were wet. So were her eyes, quickly filling with tears.
And then, up walked Alexia, with wet jeans, too. A simultaneous pants-wetting. Two human beings synchronizing, almost to the instant, the peeing of their pants and underwear (and, thanks to gravity, socks and shoes). It was a scientific feat, worthy of first place at the school science fair at least. It was also the last straw.
I closed my eyes for a split second. Maybe this was just a dream. It was still the night before and I was in my bed having a nightmare about how bad the first day of teaching would be -- a worst-case scenario dream. Or maybe I wasn't even a grown-up yet. I was just a little kid dreaming about how awful it would be if I grew up to be a teacher at my old elementary school. When I woke up, I would crawl into my parents' bed. "I had a scary dream," I would say, and they would wrap me up in a blanket like a papoose and cradle me until I feel asleep again, this time to dream of ponies and playing bass with Barbie and the Rockers.
I opened my eyes. Unfortunately, I was still all grown up, still on the playground, and my mommy and daddy were nowhere in sight. I was in charge here, like it or not (NOT!), and I had a major mess to clean up -- now -- before a third or fourth or fifth kid peed her pants.
Frantic, I asked the other teachers to watch the rest of my class while I whisked these girls off to the office. "The nurse will get you a change of clothes," I tried to reassure them.
Wrong again! The nurse did have several boxes of old, scrambled clothes -- like the Brady Bunch's dryer had exploded under the cot in her office. But she was not about to participate in our sitcom catastrophe. Wet pants were beneath her. Can't say I blame her.
As I tossed around overalls and shirts and dresses in search of not one but two pairs of pants that would fit a first grade girl, I found that either the school's upper grades had a serious incontinence problem or these clothes were donated by someone who wasn't thinking much about the age, and corresponding size, of a typical pants-wetter. Most of the clothes were HUGE, and the few items that weren't were so tiny the wearer surely would've been young enough to sport a diaper anyway.
Finally I found some pant candidates. I felt as though I had just run a marathon through a thrift store (which, come to think of it, would definitely be my preferred kind of marathon). Proudly holding up the pants, I braced myself for the grateful hugs of pee-soaked girls.
"Those pants are UGLY!" Veronica exclaimed in disgust.
I looked at her, entire bottom half soaked and splotchy, with the most genuine confusion. I would no more have anticipated her response -- a fashion critique of the pants?! WHAT ?! -- than if she had ripped off her face, revealing her true alien features, and demanded to be taken to my leader.
"YOU ARE MARINATING IN YOUR OWN URINE!" I wanted to shriek at her.
But I couldn't. It was beneath me. So I held my nose and dove back into the box of moth-eaten clothes.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
These Halls Usued to be Taller! (excerpt)
[Here's a little snippet of the chapter I'm writing today. Hope you're all having a good week so far! -- Erin]
I am naked in bed, clutching blankets to my bosom and begging invisible first graders to "just do your work." Oh lord, here we go again.
Believing my apartment to be the classroom where I teach, I have developed the unsettling but unshakable habit of shooting bolt upright in bed at 3 a.m. I am not awake. This is a nightmare -- one where I am, quite simply, always at school. My closet is the chalkboard. The bureau is a bookshelf. And every lamp, end table, and pile of shoes is a student. Every shadow is a student. There are supposed to be 24 of them. Over and over again, I methodically count these invisible children aloud, praying each time that no six-year-old has been flushed down the toilet or lured from the monkey bars by a candy-wielding stranger. I have to count fast, for there is only one of me, and she is naked and stuck under blankets.
How unfair. These precious few hours before sunrise are my only chance to rest and regroup before another day in the trenches of teaching, and I am spending them -- as I'll spend every night of my first semester -- believing the kids are still in the room with me, that I am neglecting them by closing my eyes for a few seconds, that they will never learn to read or add or focus a microscope. Because of me, they will never graduate from high school, never go to college, never escape the housing projects where they live -- in the same neighborhood where I grew up and returned to teach. (To Make A Difference!) Instead I am ruining the Youth of America in my sleep, and worse, they have all just seen my boobs.
After several rounds of counting, I let go of the blanket with one hand and reach out to the two dozen three-foot phantoms. "Pleeeease! Just do your work for a few minutes! Mrs. Walter needs to sleep."
I am naked in bed, clutching blankets to my bosom and begging invisible first graders to "just do your work." Oh lord, here we go again.
Believing my apartment to be the classroom where I teach, I have developed the unsettling but unshakable habit of shooting bolt upright in bed at 3 a.m. I am not awake. This is a nightmare -- one where I am, quite simply, always at school. My closet is the chalkboard. The bureau is a bookshelf. And every lamp, end table, and pile of shoes is a student. Every shadow is a student. There are supposed to be 24 of them. Over and over again, I methodically count these invisible children aloud, praying each time that no six-year-old has been flushed down the toilet or lured from the monkey bars by a candy-wielding stranger. I have to count fast, for there is only one of me, and she is naked and stuck under blankets.
How unfair. These precious few hours before sunrise are my only chance to rest and regroup before another day in the trenches of teaching, and I am spending them -- as I'll spend every night of my first semester -- believing the kids are still in the room with me, that I am neglecting them by closing my eyes for a few seconds, that they will never learn to read or add or focus a microscope. Because of me, they will never graduate from high school, never go to college, never escape the housing projects where they live -- in the same neighborhood where I grew up and returned to teach. (To Make A Difference!) Instead I am ruining the Youth of America in my sleep, and worse, they have all just seen my boobs.
After several rounds of counting, I let go of the blanket with one hand and reach out to the two dozen three-foot phantoms. "Pleeeease! Just do your work for a few minutes! Mrs. Walter needs to sleep."
Friday, April 6, 2007
Silver Lining filling up with fabulousness!
I just announced Silver Lining three days ago, and already the lineup of content for the first issue is blowing my editor/publisher mind! The latest news is that Jessica Crispin -- the Bookslut herself! -- has agreed to contribute. (Keep an eye on bookslut.com for reviews and features by yours truly very soon, by the way.) A Chicago writer will also be contributing a piece about her virgin excursion to South by Southwest in Austin, Texas, last month. I can't wait to read the juicy details! And Austin writer/musician Melissa Bryan of the Shindigs is working up a regular music column for us. Last but not least, I'm also super excited that the debut issue of Silver Lining will include an interview with the one and only Jessica Hopper of Punk Planet, Hit It or Quit It, and the Chicago Reader! Jessica will be interviewed by someone very special, but right now it's a secret, so stay tuned.
LOVE & LIT,
Erin
P.S. - I hope to see all you Chicagoans THIS WEDNESDAY at my show with the Hidden Mitten. We're rockin' the Subterranean in Wicker Park with the absolutely fabulous Little Red and the Hoods. I can't wait! You simply must come say hi. :)
LOVE & LIT,
Erin
P.S. - I hope to see all you Chicagoans THIS WEDNESDAY at my show with the Hidden Mitten. We're rockin' the Subterranean in Wicker Park with the absolutely fabulous Little Red and the Hoods. I can't wait! You simply must come say hi. :)
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Latest Silver Lining news and call for artist/designer!
So things are taking off with Silver Lining faster than even I expected. One of my favorite authors, Ariel Gore (of Portland, OR), agreed to a Q&A interview and she was AMAZING! Here's how the interview started:
Erin: The Silver Lining zine's theme is making delicious, hilarious, rockin', and generally badass lemonade out of the lemons life inevitably hurls at us. Can you think of a specific silver-lining situation in your past, where you went from feeling downtrodden to feeling triumphant?
Ariel: Well, that's what it's ALL about, isn't it? I mean, you are born! What a fuck over! You get this human existence and you're wailing about it for a few minutes, and then you just have to say, well, all right, looks like I'm going to be here for a while, and the landscape IS strangely beautiful, I guess I might as well see if I can spread some love around.
I mean, can you ask for a better was to kick things off?! :)
Today I'm interviewing the guys in Birdmonster, one of my favorite bands (out of San Francisco), and the guys in The Dollar Store, one of the coolest performance concepts in Chicago. And writers from all over -- even the United Kingdom! -- have signed on to contribute. Damn, this is fun.
Of course, I can do a lot of this as editor/publisher girl. But I CANNOT design a cover. At least not a good one. It just not my thing. So if anyone wants to talk art and design, or already has some bright idea for what the cover of Silver Lining should look like, give me a shout. My only real design requests are that the cover:
- be in black and white
- have spots to tout a few of the stories
- and be fun to decorate -- I'm planning a cover-coloring party so the Chicago team and friends can dress up the first 100 limited editions.
Looking forward to hearing from y'all! Hope everyone is having a lovely week!
-Erin
Erin: The Silver Lining zine's theme is making delicious, hilarious, rockin', and generally badass lemonade out of the lemons life inevitably hurls at us. Can you think of a specific silver-lining situation in your past, where you went from feeling downtrodden to feeling triumphant?
Ariel: Well, that's what it's ALL about, isn't it? I mean, you are born! What a fuck over! You get this human existence and you're wailing about it for a few minutes, and then you just have to say, well, all right, looks like I'm going to be here for a while, and the landscape IS strangely beautiful, I guess I might as well see if I can spread some love around.
I mean, can you ask for a better was to kick things off?! :)
Today I'm interviewing the guys in Birdmonster, one of my favorite bands (out of San Francisco), and the guys in The Dollar Store, one of the coolest performance concepts in Chicago. And writers from all over -- even the United Kingdom! -- have signed on to contribute. Damn, this is fun.
Of course, I can do a lot of this as editor/publisher girl. But I CANNOT design a cover. At least not a good one. It just not my thing. So if anyone wants to talk art and design, or already has some bright idea for what the cover of Silver Lining should look like, give me a shout. My only real design requests are that the cover:
- be in black and white
- have spots to tout a few of the stories
- and be fun to decorate -- I'm planning a cover-coloring party so the Chicago team and friends can dress up the first 100 limited editions.
Looking forward to hearing from y'all! Hope everyone is having a lovely week!
-Erin
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Call for submissions to Silver Lining!
The response to the Silver Lining announcement has been amazing! Thank you, everyone! (And see yesterday's BIG NEWS post, if you missed it.) Now it's time for you to put that enthusiasm down on paper. Here are the types of stories we still need, all in the 100-750 word range. Short stuff, no sweat! Just pick one (or two):
- book reviews**
- CD reviews**
- live show reviews** ***
- shorts on something bad that happened to you that had a silver lining (these can be funny, serious, or somewhere in between)
- a tale of something bad that happened to you that you think has absolutely NO silver lining (should be short and funny -- or at least not "someone died" because that's obvious and too sad). FYI, this will be the Silver Lining Challenge: if a reader can invent a creative silver lining for that issue's "no silver lining" story, we'll publish it in the next issue.
*Of course, Silver Lining is open to all ideas, we just know it definitely needs these for the first issue. Suggest away, if there's something you really want to contribute.
**The things you review can be as obscure or as mainstream as you want. Preferably it's something you have strong feelings about! :)
***Reviews can be for live shows ANYWHERE. Not just Chicago.
Let us know if anything strikes your fancy and we'll reserve that spot for your byline! These are all short stories, so we'd like you to send them via e-mail by Monday, if possible. (If that's a problem, don't let it deter you. We could sign you up for issue #2.)
LOVE & LIT,
Erin (editor/publisher) and the Chicago team
P.S. -- Besides the byline and publishing of your printed work, what's in it for you will be the fun of working on this together and the exposure to book publishers (I'll be sending the zine to everyone who's involved with my book, These Halls Used to be Taller), media (I'll be sending it out to media in Chicago to advertise the launch party at the end of the month), fellow writers, and tons of cool folks who read. Plus lots of other silver linings I can't think of now because I haven't had my coffee yet!
- book reviews**
- CD reviews**
- live show reviews** ***
- shorts on something bad that happened to you that had a silver lining (these can be funny, serious, or somewhere in between)
- a tale of something bad that happened to you that you think has absolutely NO silver lining (should be short and funny -- or at least not "someone died" because that's obvious and too sad). FYI, this will be the Silver Lining Challenge: if a reader can invent a creative silver lining for that issue's "no silver lining" story, we'll publish it in the next issue.
*Of course, Silver Lining is open to all ideas, we just know it definitely needs these for the first issue. Suggest away, if there's something you really want to contribute.
**The things you review can be as obscure or as mainstream as you want. Preferably it's something you have strong feelings about! :)
***Reviews can be for live shows ANYWHERE. Not just Chicago.
Let us know if anything strikes your fancy and we'll reserve that spot for your byline! These are all short stories, so we'd like you to send them via e-mail by Monday, if possible. (If that's a problem, don't let it deter you. We could sign you up for issue #2.)
LOVE & LIT,
Erin (editor/publisher) and the Chicago team
P.S. -- Besides the byline and publishing of your printed work, what's in it for you will be the fun of working on this together and the exposure to book publishers (I'll be sending the zine to everyone who's involved with my book, These Halls Used to be Taller), media (I'll be sending it out to media in Chicago to advertise the launch party at the end of the month), fellow writers, and tons of cool folks who read. Plus lots of other silver linings I can't think of now because I haven't had my coffee yet!
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Big news of the writing kind!
Meow meow, friends and readers of Just Eat The Cat!! It's good to be back. I have so much great news for you, let's jump right in and break it down, shall we?
1. The first issue of Silver Living, the new zine created, edited, and published by yours truly, will be out this month! The title comes from my outlook on life: dark clouds always spur me to whip out my silver eyeliner and start painting! Thus each issue will be anchored by an essay or story that includes the writer or a character -- somehow, some way -- making lemonade with life's lemons. It's a theme I've discovered runs through my own writing. I was too old to attend Hillary Frank's teen book discussion, so I spent the day pretending to be a teenager and writing about it (see the first serial on this site). My first year as a teacher was as rough as rough gets, so I grinned, beared it, took notes, and wrote a book. The list goes on. Anyway, the Silver Living zine will be available at indie bookstores such as Quimby's in Chicago as well as through this site (stay tuned). The zine will also include fun shorts like book and music reviews, poems, cartoons, etc. I welcome your contributions. Just comment or send me a message about what you'd like to write!
2. Speaking of what you'd like to write, I have also founded the new Silver Lining Writers Group here in Chicago. About 10 of us will meet the second and fourth Tuesdays of the month at 6:30 p.m. on the patio at Pontiac Cafe on Damen Avenue in Wicker Park. We will share our own writing, give each other feedback and support, and discuss any books or writing we've loved lately. New members are welcome at our next meeting, and it's OK if you think of yourself as an "aspiring writer" (guess what: you're already a writer, I promise, so drop the 'aspiring'!). If you're interested in joining us, comment or send me a message.
3. My writing is ready to go from the page to your ears! Now that I'm settled in Chicago, it's time to explore the city's thriving scene for open mics and readings. My goal is to attend a minimum of one a week, reading my own work when possible. This week's definite pick is Reading Under the Influence tomorrow night at Sheffields. Come on out, and make sure you say hi when you see me (go to my personal blog for visual clues)!
4. If you don't live in Chicago (and even if you do), there are several other ways to check out my work coming up. Of course, you already know Just Eat The Cat!, and I'm looking forward to providing the next installment of Mania in the Mountains for you on Thursday. But there's more! Keep an eye on the personal essay site Fresh Yarn, which will soon have an essay of mine about learning to ride a bike at the age of 19 (!!!) on its main page (and in an anthology, if all goes well). Also, look out for the next issue of Love, Chicago magazine, which will include a feature profile I wrote for its special tattoo issue. Oh, and on the off chance you live in Montana or know someone who does, I just wrote an entire section of The Billings Gazette newspaper. It will be out this month, and when you see page after page of features on doctors and medical procedures, you can say "I know who wrote that!"
5. Bravo! Bravo! Lastly, there is some excitement because the fabulous Bravo TV network recently bought Fametracker, the web site for which I'm a regular contributor of pop culture/satire essays. The bad news is it means all of my essays are currently off the site (so links in my previous posts won't work). This is because legal issues on freelance work are still being ironed out. This means people are taking notice of all our efforts over in the land of fametracking. And that can only be good news! (You see how I'm all about the silver lining?)
So, folks, thanks as always for your readership and enthusiasm! Hope to hear from you about my various projects, and I especially hope some of you will jump in and get involved!
LOVE & LEMONADE,
Erin
1. The first issue of Silver Living, the new zine created, edited, and published by yours truly, will be out this month! The title comes from my outlook on life: dark clouds always spur me to whip out my silver eyeliner and start painting! Thus each issue will be anchored by an essay or story that includes the writer or a character -- somehow, some way -- making lemonade with life's lemons. It's a theme I've discovered runs through my own writing. I was too old to attend Hillary Frank's teen book discussion, so I spent the day pretending to be a teenager and writing about it (see the first serial on this site). My first year as a teacher was as rough as rough gets, so I grinned, beared it, took notes, and wrote a book. The list goes on. Anyway, the Silver Living zine will be available at indie bookstores such as Quimby's in Chicago as well as through this site (stay tuned). The zine will also include fun shorts like book and music reviews, poems, cartoons, etc. I welcome your contributions. Just comment or send me a message about what you'd like to write!
2. Speaking of what you'd like to write, I have also founded the new Silver Lining Writers Group here in Chicago. About 10 of us will meet the second and fourth Tuesdays of the month at 6:30 p.m. on the patio at Pontiac Cafe on Damen Avenue in Wicker Park. We will share our own writing, give each other feedback and support, and discuss any books or writing we've loved lately. New members are welcome at our next meeting, and it's OK if you think of yourself as an "aspiring writer" (guess what: you're already a writer, I promise, so drop the 'aspiring'!). If you're interested in joining us, comment or send me a message.
3. My writing is ready to go from the page to your ears! Now that I'm settled in Chicago, it's time to explore the city's thriving scene for open mics and readings. My goal is to attend a minimum of one a week, reading my own work when possible. This week's definite pick is Reading Under the Influence tomorrow night at Sheffields. Come on out, and make sure you say hi when you see me (go to my personal blog for visual clues)!
4. If you don't live in Chicago (and even if you do), there are several other ways to check out my work coming up. Of course, you already know Just Eat The Cat!, and I'm looking forward to providing the next installment of Mania in the Mountains for you on Thursday. But there's more! Keep an eye on the personal essay site Fresh Yarn, which will soon have an essay of mine about learning to ride a bike at the age of 19 (!!!) on its main page (and in an anthology, if all goes well). Also, look out for the next issue of Love, Chicago magazine, which will include a feature profile I wrote for its special tattoo issue. Oh, and on the off chance you live in Montana or know someone who does, I just wrote an entire section of The Billings Gazette newspaper. It will be out this month, and when you see page after page of features on doctors and medical procedures, you can say "I know who wrote that!"
5. Bravo! Bravo! Lastly, there is some excitement because the fabulous Bravo TV network recently bought Fametracker, the web site for which I'm a regular contributor of pop culture/satire essays. The bad news is it means all of my essays are currently off the site (so links in my previous posts won't work). This is because legal issues on freelance work are still being ironed out. This means people are taking notice of all our efforts over in the land of fametracking. And that can only be good news! (You see how I'm all about the silver lining?)
So, folks, thanks as always for your readership and enthusiasm! Hope to hear from you about my various projects, and I especially hope some of you will jump in and get involved!
LOVE & LEMONADE,
Erin
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